Not So Deep Thoughts

(Allow me to use some Brooklynese while writing this post. Thank you.)

In recent news we had a runaway bride. Jennifer Wilbanks, a 32 year old Southern belle, left her fiance, John Mason, four days before they were to be married. The lavish wedding was comprised of a 28-person Bridal party and 600 guests who were to believe Wilbanks was abducted. Paging reality: the minute I heard this story I knew the flake took off on her own.

She fled to Vegas, then Albuquerque, when she phoned 911 to report her own kidnapping. You've all heard this story. You cannot watch the news or read the newspaper or news web sites without seeing a headline about the runaway bride, so I'm going to cut to the chase and vent a little:

*Steps onto soap box*

Can you imagine that dumb fuck still wants to marry that crazy broad? Apparently nationwide humiliation makes the heart grow fonder: all this time I thought it was absence that does the trick. Apparently, I was wrong.

Here's my helpful tip of the day: If you do not want to marry someone, don't get engaged! Don't plan a society wedding, as a matter of fact, don't even plan to elope! STOP WASTING YOUR TIME AND THE TIME OF THE POOR SCHMUCK WHO THINKS YOU ARE THE ONE!

*Steps off of soap box*

I, for one, could have been engaged twice. Had I gone through with it and gotten married, I also could have been divorced twice. Those two men simply weren't who I want to spend the rest of my life with, so I was straight forward and wouldn't even allow them to spend money on an engagement ring. Why can't people think ahead? Oh wait, Wilbanks did think ahead, she bought her ticket to "freedom" a week before her wedding day. Of course, she did this after the wedding was paid for!

Oh, and here's the kicker (as if it couldn't get any better!): not only does Mason still want to marry Wilbanks, but he publicly stated that he wants her to be the mother of his children!

The minute I heard Amy Fisher, the L.I. Lolita, had gotten married, I sat back and had a thought: I'm clinically sane and still single, yet that looney tunes attempted murderer is married, psychosis must be "in." Although Wilbanks is a different kind of looney tunes, this recent story only proves my point.

In the words of Jim Morrison, people are strange!