The Ridiculously Amusing Stories That Make The News

THESE ARE THE STORIES THAT MAKE ME MISS BEING A JOURNALIST (SORT OF!):

(Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Apparently, to get a traffic ticket!)

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/storie...EMPLATE=DEFAULT
May 9, 8:46 AM EDT

Chicken Ticketed for Crossing the Road

RIDGECREST, Calif. (AP) -- Linc and Helena Moore may have finally learned the answer to that age-old question: Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken doesn't know jaywalking is illegal.

Kern County Sheriff's Deputy J. Nicholson does know, however. The deputy issued a ticket on March 26 to one of the couple's chickens for impeding traffic on a road in Johannesburg, a rural mining community southeast of Ridgecrest.

The Moores arrived in Superior Court on Friday to plead not guilty to their chicken's alleged transgression. A trial was scheduled for May 16.

Nicholson has declined to discuss the matter, but sheriff's Sgt. Francis Moore said chickens on the roadway have been a problem in the community of 50 residents. Officials didn't believe it could be resolved by simply issuing the couple a warning.

"Sometimes you have to let people talk to the judge," Moore said.

The chicken's owners say they believe they were cited because they were among several people who complained that sheriff's deputies haven't done enough to control off-road vehicle riders who damage roads and create dust and noise in their neighborhood.

Sheriff's officials say that isn't so, adding they are doing what they can to keep off-roaders away from the area's homes.

"The chicken thing has nothing to do with the motorcycle thing," Moore said.

© 2005 The Associated Press. All contents © 2005 Daily News, L.P

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The say one man's trash is another man's treasure, but do you really need to buy someone's urine?

Casino Buys Spears' Alleged Pregnancy Test
May 4, 3:15 PM EST

Online casino Golden Palace has spilled $5,001 for Britney Spears' alleged home pregnancy test. "It's hard to put a price on Britney Spears' urine," Golden Palace spokesman Drew Black told The Associated Press Wednesday.

Golden Palace says it purchased the test from Ottawa radio station Hot 89.9, which insists the test was retrieved from the trash outside Spears' Los Angeles hotel room months ago. The station didn't leak news of the test until Spears and husband Kevin Federline revealed her pregnancy to the public last month.

"We don't know for certain, of course," said Black. "Obviously, it's her alleged pregnancy test. I wasn't there when she took the test."

Golden Palace saw some buzz potential in the baby-making analyzer.

"When we saw this particular item was up for grabs, we knew it was something we wanted to have to add to the collection of oddities we've amassed over the past several months," said Black.

Other off-the-wall items owned by Golden Palace include a sandwich resembling the Virgin Mary, a Doritos chip that looks like the Pope's hat and a haunted cane.

Black said Golden Palace is looking into going on tour with the out-of-the-ordinary objects.

Last month, the online casino paid $15,100 to a Connecticut woman to name her newborn GoldenPalace.com.